If there is one thing I understand about being a mother it’s that without a doubt, one of the most underestimated jobs there is. Especially because it’s one of the most important ones. We are raising the future, we are raising the next generation, we are raising human beings and they better be good ones so they can help us change the world! (we could really use some help with this these days)
A mother carries a lot of pressure to be a multitasking supermom/hero with little to no support.
When I took time off from work to be at home with my son and then just 1 year and 8 months later my second son appeared people would often comment, “ah ok, you are JUST a stay home mom!” Give me a little head tilt to one side and say,
” ah, good for you” and then move right along with the conversation. The shocking part was that most times these phrases came from women – full time working mothers at that. These were mothers who started working right after giving birth, only 3 weeks to a few months later. I am almost positive if they’d had the proper support to stay home with their babies they would have taken this opportunity. It might have been a sense of guilt they carried in not being able to JUST be a mother for that time period and be at peace. This breaks my heart. A mother who would love to be able to JUST stay home and take care of her newborn. Newborns need their mothers and we need to be able to provide that. Truthfully this topic makes me quite emotional.
Life sometimes seems to be a race between adults competing for the title of , “who is living the best life” and Ibelieve our children aresuffering because of this. They are left in daycare or with a nanny at only 3 months of age and sometimes even younger. Working mothers, you know I respect you and please do not misunderstand what I’m saying. My one and only point is that our society should be supporting US a lot more in the early years of our children’s lives just as in the latter years. To have the opportunity to work, but also be able to give our children our time. If we had more women in politics and higher positions, managing our society and so on I strongly believe this would be fixed. As women we are naturally stronger than men and able to juggle and multitask much better.
As most of you know, I am from Iceland. This is a country where mothers get extremely good support in comparison to many other countries. Generally speaking, a mother stays home for about the first 9 months of her child’s life but with little monthly pay. Although this does depend on the salary and position she has or if she was studying. Sadly, most of the time this pay is very far from enough to be able to keep a family afloat, but at least it is something. There is much room for improvement and I hope to see financial and emotional support for mothers increase in the near future.
I am sure almost every mother would love to stay home with her newborn, at least for the first 9 months of his/her life and then slowly prepare for a return back to work. I believe there is something very wrong with our system if this isn’t possible.
Motherhood is a constant multitask and your mind is never quiet. We always feel guilty and if something goes wrong we always blame ourselves. It can be emotionally exhausting. Then of course it’s also the most amazing job because we love our children so much and every single moment is so unique and special, even if most days seem completely the same. We should be paid and supported during early motherhood. Somehow I am sure if men would carry children and have to breastfeed they might have more time off from work to recover and spend time with their babies. If mothers and families in general would have more support from our society, I strongly believe our world would be a much better place. Children would be happier because mother is happy. She also may allow herself to be proud of JUST being a stay at home mom and not feel constantly judged or less of a person because of it. Therefore the father is content and the whole family is more at ease and peace. The whole familial atmosphere may feel calmer.
Having a young family is hard. You are handed this with little to no support, a whole new life and you as a mother and father become new people. I know this is how it has been for generations, so this should come natural to us. In many cases it does, but sometimes it doesn’t and there shouldn’t be shame associated with this….we are human. Even to mothers who are able to adapt naturally to this change and feel entirely blessed in their new role, parenthood can still prove to be a shock and still requires much needed support. It is extremely important for a new mother and father to be each other’s rock throughout the process.
This little new person is now yours and the responsibility falls on both mother and father. It’s very important to stick together and stand by each other. If you constantly see your partner making an effort then you will feel better and even more loved and so will your baby. Although your baby is small it understands every emotion in the household.
This topic is sensitive, but it’s also burning in many mothers’ hearts. I feel that it’s time to open this topic without judgement. Simply be able to support each other without fear of criticism. Take small and important steps to make our children’s world and ours better. The question is what can we do to make this change??
Love JM
@Photo, www.mamafedona.com