Category: MOTHERHOOD

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DJECO THE BEAUTIFUL AND INTELLIGENT TOYS

There are stories that are worth telling.
Especially if they talk about love, creativity, passion: this is a story about a  mother that,  with courage and a little healthy dose of unconsciousness decides to follow his intuition and her dream in an age when women entrepreneurs were very few.
A dear friend of mine gifted these toys to my kids and I really liked the story behind so i decide to share it with you:
This story begins in Paris in 1954 when Véronique Michel-Dalès decides to found her own brand of toys, calling him Djeco, in honor of the lucky lizard. A good name, since the Djeco games quickly get a big success, receiving numerous prizes and awards.
Since then, the company has grown, but the goal has always remained the same: inventing games that stimulate children’s imagination and creativity but also the logic and the ability to concentrate, giving a valid alternative to those who do not want to give up hegemony of the Ipad. They are intelligent and innovative games, which are pleasing to the little ones but also to the adults because they are beautiful to look at.
I like them because they have a nice design, a little vintage, which also boasts special collaborations with famous illustrators such as the Japanese Junzo Terada and the Argentinian Cristian Montenegro.
There are wooden and cardboard puzzles, crafting kits that transform figures like robots, and cars into moving objects, card games and society. My favorites are the Petit Home, a modern version of the classic dollhouse with attention to detail, the Indian Play Hut tent that welcomes and creates a new space to play, and even if parents want to actively participate in the fun there are the Face Paint kits , easy and fun make-up that turn kids into princesses, pirates, or their favorite super heroes.

If you travel you will find this story  in Paris at the Louvre museum, in New York at the Moma and in London at the Tate Gallery-In Italy you can find its at Salina and La città del sole

www.djeco.com

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ANIWA GATHERING II

You are joyfully invited to Aniwa Gathering. 30 indigenous elders from around the world will convene on a beautiful land immersed in nature, one hour and a half north of NYC on September 14, 15, 16 to offer their ancient wisdom and culture.

300 participants will celebrate in sacred ceremonies, workshops, music and dance, hearing the echoes of ancestral voices to awaken an ever deeper connection to ourselves and all our relations. We believe this deeply transformative gathering will inspire participants to become agents of change for Mother Earth and humanity.

The elders will also present projects ranging from trauma education as well as healing, permaculture and harmonic living, to language, culture and sacred land rescue.

Such a pleasure to be spreading this message far and wide.

So much love and gratitude

Vivien and JM

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MOTHER

When I held you for the first time was the first time in my life that I realized I could kill someone.The desire to keep you forever safe was so strong in me, I just knew in that moment that I would do ANYTHING  to make it so.

When I smelt you for the first time I discovered a softness and warmth inside me that I had not even given to your father, let alone myself. This kind of warmth and softness is only meant for you.

When I gave you your first kiss on your little head and face, a tear ran down my cheek: finally, I understood what love is. I love you. Now I have learned to love your father more than I have ever loved before because he gave me you. 

When you moved your lips for the first time, that movement was just part of you trying to stretch your little body, but I could not wait to hear you speak. Listen to your stories and thoughts. Even though I must say there are times now in which I wish you spoke a little less 😉

When we looked in each other’s eyes for the first time , I could not wait to discover and investigate the world by your side. Show you what life has to offer. Show you our beautiful nature in its blossom. Make funny faces so you can laugh. 

When you drank from my breast for the first time, you gave me a powerful feeling. I felt like a real woman for the first time. You had given me my best and most difficult job ever, and despite that, it all came so naturally to me. You and I are meant to be.

When we walked together side by side, hand in hand, for the first time, I felt so proud of you. I will strive for you to be able to walk the street safe and alone. But whenever you will need, even though you may not notice, I will always be there right behind you, ready to catch you. You will always have me by your side.

But most of all, I feel so blessed that I was given a life where I can be by your side. Give you a home. Dress you. Feed you. Protect you. A life in which I can laugh with you without fear. One in which you can go to school and play, and just be a kid.  

I would like to honor the mothers in our world who have to fight every single day for these things. Sadly, some never achieve any of it, and struggle so hard every day, all day, for things that we lucky enough to take for granted. I pray and hope this will end one day. In the meantime I will do my part and support in the way I can to help. I hope you will too.

Happy Mother’s day to all the moms out there.

You are magical. 

love JM

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DO WE NEED TO WASH NEWBORNS WITH SOAP? NO AND HERE IS WHY

When I receive a few emails with the same question I love to answer with a blog post, as I understand there are a few of you who are curious about the same topic. So I write down all your questions and try to get back to you about them as soon as I can.

I am speaking for me personally and from what I have come to know by reading books or learned from great doulas, baby nurses and most importantly other mothers and grandmothers.

THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO NEED TO WASH THEM WITH SOAP!

When babies are born, most of them come out of their mother’s womb with something like a white, greasy cover all over their skin and some parents, especially first-timers, think that this might be a disgusting thing to see or to touch: well, many things may seem scary or strange if we don’t really know what they are.

I myself, along with many women I have spoken to, did not find it gross at all, and was actually surprised by this. The soft, waxy, odourless texture is called vernix, and it has many benefits such as protecting your baby’s skin from being in amniotic fluid month after month, or from harmful bacteria they might encounter inside and outside of the mother’s body. It is also a skin cleanser, antioxidant and offers a protective covering while going through the birth canal. So instead of washing it off, you should actually rub it into your newborn’s skin with a gentle massage, to get the most good out of it.

The feeling when you hold your newborn baby for the very first time is so beyond magnificent that there is no space for thinking that something is gross.

This is all natural and this is they way we are supposed to be: every single one of us has been there, just after birth, with white, thick texture on our skin that has a very good reason to be there, nature has its ways and we should do more of listening to the way things are made to be.

Free your mind from the way we are made to think it should be, just go with the flow and enjoy the moment you are living. Hug your little baby and give it a gentle rub on the back and legs while it cuddles up to your skin for the very first time. 

The majority of the vernix will absorb into the skin within 24 hours from birth, but it may take up to 5 -6 days to fully absorb: the world’s best moisturizer for your little baby. That is why it is advisable to wait to give the baby its first bath until after its first week of life.

Many hospital baby nurses or doctors like to wash off the vernix so the baby ‘’looks better’’ for the new parents, but really, don’t let them do that. I told my doctors to leave it on before my sons where even born just to make sure they would not start to rub it off, or soap wash them.

A newborn baby should go straight into its mother’s arms if possible: sometimes it can be an emergency situation so the baby may have to go under further or intense control, but in most cases all is fine and the baby should go straight to resting with its mother, covered in white lovely greasy natural fat, listening to its mother’s heartbeat, skin to skin. So, cuddle and get to know one another. In that very moment, there is nothing to hurry about.

Regarding what to do for your baby’s first bath, it depends. Just a soft, warm cloth stroke around the areas where you feel it is needed may be enough (that is what I did). They are so pure and wrapped all day in clean clothes or blankets, so they don’t really NEED a bath. But it could be lovely and relaxing for them. Most of them will love it : make sure the room is warm, with soft light and maybe even peaceful music – for example, I used to play the same music I had in the delivery room just to create a lovely, romantic and cozy atmosphere.

They are going through so many new things each day. New sounds, new light, new touch – new everything. I would recommend waiting 5 days or up to a week for the first bath and when you do, no soap needed. To this day, I still do not use soap on my sons, and they are 2 and 4. I use coconut oil in their baths and massage it into their skin afterwards. Again, our bodies are so perfectly made, we do not need soap – especially in the first years of life. Normally the little ones don’t really even get that dirty except for the face, hands and bottoms, and those are washed often throughout the day. 

Just by letting your baby relax and play moving around in the water will definitely do the job of cleaning your baby, and if you feel more comfortable you can stroke him or her with a soft cloth in the water. Babies also do not need a bath every single day: every 2-3 days is more than enough. I give my sons a bath  2-3 times per week in the winter and a bit more often in the summer as they are boys and love to play outside with sand, mud and water. 

Sparing the soap will also protect their skin from rashes or dry spots and keep their skin looking better for longer with its natural oil, as baby skin is very delicate and sensitive. 

Babies also do not smell or stink, especially if their diet is good.

In some countries or cities water is often a bit “heavy”, so most of the time I massage coconut oil on my boys’ skin even before they enter the bathtub: that way it will maintain its healthy glow and get hydrated in the bath. 

Their hair is also very thick and healthy from not using soap: it even smells better in some way, because it just smells like them. During their baths I wash their hair well with water and a comb, and so far it has been more than enough to keep it healthy looking. I often leave some coconut oil in their hair overnight and rinse it out in the morning, especially in the summer.

Bathtime is fun and relaxing, so many parents think it is good to take a bath each night. But do keep an eye on your child’s skin and remember there are many other lovely relaxing things to do before bed time, such as reading a book, giving them a massage or singing. Lower the lights at home and put up some candlelight.

I hope this has been helpful and I would love to read how you like to give your child a bath in your comments. As always, if you have any more questions I will happily answer. 

much love as always

JM

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ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE

Valentine’s day has become a day that people all over the world seem to be celebrating. Couples go out on a special date and exchange gifts which include chocolate, jewelry, love letters, champagne or sexy underwear.  🙂  
A romantic dinner with candles, holding hands and looking deep into each other’s eyes.
Personally I am not really sure what to do on this day to be honest… somehow I would feel uncomfortable holding a man’s hand in a romantic restaurant just because it is an expected thing and I am surrounded by couples doing just that. I don’t want to criticize people who do that, I am all for expressing love and I LOVE the idea of a couple in love 🙂 But the idea to me sounds quite uncomfortable. I would prefer a home made romantic dinner. My lovely boyfriend has coincidentally always been away for work on this particular day for all the 7 years we’ve been together. Lucky him, he has a wonderful excuse to be far away from the pressure. And lucky me,  I get to spend the night with my friends or by myself in a bubble bath! We like to be different and celebrate our love on the day before or the day after, just to be on our own.
It could be just me, but I prefer a night out with my girlfriends on a day like Valentines day ahahaha.. 
 Maybe I just got used to it in New York, where me and my friends would always do something super fun for Valentine’s Day: the single- New York-gang watching Sex and the City, drinking champagne in pajamas, eating ice cream and laughing until our stomach hurts. Or go dancing and just celebrate friendship. Love is something that should always live in us anyway.
I feel that it is important to just enjoy love in general, every day, by loving others and being loved by the ones I love. Valentine’s day  is a beautiful celebration, but commercials are brilliant in making it become one of the tackiest of the year. 
Love comes from your own heart. I learned that the hard way. It is not something you can only receive, you have to keep it burning in your own heart ALWAYS. 
You don’t need love from someone else to feel special. Just care and love yourself and BE love in the deepest part of your soul: that is what you will spread and you will receive. Who cares if it from a handsome man or a beautiful woman? Love is just love, it just needs to be pure. Find true value in the love that surrounds you and that is the moment of your real celebration on a day like Valentine’s day.
If you are reading this and you are in love with someone special, I hope you will have a wonderful day enjoying holding hands and opening your heart, sharing something beautiful and meaningful with your partner. Make a home made gift, a gift with a meaning.
If you are reading this and you are not in love with someone special, I hope you take this day to spoil and pamper yourself doing something that you love to do. Then spread the love with the people you really care about.
Honest love that comes straight from the heart can only do good. Take a bubble bath and light candles. Eat chocolate and watch a romantic move. 
After reading all of the above, I challenge you to bring a little bit of Valentine’s day into every day of the rest of the year.
love always JM

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#WEARTHECHANGE

Every day we make many different decisions: what to wear, what to eat, which paths to take or even decisions related to work or family. We all enjoy felling and looking good. 
I am happy to tell you about how committed C&A have been over the past years to improving their products in order to make them environmentally and socially responsible. More than half of their items are now being produced more sustainably and made from 100% organic cotton.
In the photo above with my little Minions I am wearing a 100% recyclable t shirt: how awesome is that! 
If you’d like to be a part of this change and wear the change you can go on their website www.c-and-a.com. Take a look at their products and get these t shirts … or by following them on Instagram you might even get lucky and win one.
In the photo above with my little Minions I am wearing a 100% recyclable t shirt: how awesome is that! 

If you’d like to be a part of this change and wear the change you can go on their website www.c-and-a.com. Take a look at their products and get these t shirts … or by following them on Instagram you might even get lucky and win one.

Love JM

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WHY MOTHERS SPELL

“Mother” is a word with so much meaning if you give it some thought. Mother is our Earth, our nature and our true Mother. A Mother has the ability to take care of all the people of its world. Mother nature grows food for us, gives us water and tries her best to make us breathe good, clean air. It has 4 wonderful seasons with endless different kinds of blossoms. Animals that sleep through winter and are very alive during summer. So many different colors in our landscapes that change each season and which we have endless photographers trying to capture, although the best picture is the one we see with our eyes, giving us great feelings.

There is a special feeling when the first leaves start to fall to the ground in Autumn. We start to wear layers of cozy clothing and we breathe fresh crisp air each morning. It gets darker and we light candles or make fires.

When the first snow falls in Winter, children and adults go out to play in the cold, fresh, sparkly snow. The sky becomes silent when the big snow flakes fall, changing the color and atmosphere of our surroundings so magically.

In Spring, leaves start to grow again, while flowers fill our minds and senses with magical smells. The grass becomes green and cherry blossom makes us feel like we are stuck in a romantic movie. 

Endless Summer nights come with heat waves, sunshine and new and old love stories. Children play with sand and water and we get a tan, our hair goes blond. We all smile more than usual and people travel around new places to enjoy nature or the beach.

How incredibly beautiful all of this is, if you think about it! Have you ever really given all this a good thought? I can’t help but wonder: why are we ruining so much of this? How could anyone possibly ever want to do that? It seems like we forgot to think clearly, reasonably and responsibly. Like we forgot all the good things we were taught in school as kids, to be kind and treat our nature well. To not throw trash on the street and so on. Be kind to our Mother Earth, because we really really need it in order to survive.

Human beings have ruined and taken for granted so much of this beautiful gift that was given to them with life: Mother Earth. Mother nature.

Life is being created over and over again with the power of nature, and that feels and looks like a spell or magic to my eyes. It is all so wonderfully thought through from the beginning to the end that I am completely admired and fascinated by this. Every little detail has a meaning, a purpose. It is a perfectly made circle. 

Some people say God is a woman and I am one of those who believe so, no matter where God really comes from and who exactly she is. Don’t get me wrong, I love men and have great respect for them as they are very important to the circle, but given how much women can do all at the same time, it absolutely has to be that God is a woman. 

Women carry children, a little human being grows inside our body, and if you really think about it, it is wondrous. Ten little fingers with finger nails, eyebrows, ears, two little knees, a perfectly made baby that our body knows how to push out naturally but at the same time with more pain than any man could ever bear. 

After just a short while, this little baby knows where to reach and search for milk. The Mother’s breasts, which have now grown to double their size and can start contractions in the uterus through the sucking of the baby, helping it go back to its original size.

Breastfeeding Mothers will also burn calories which will help them to return to their pre-pregnancy body ( slowly, no rush). 🙂

While breastfeeding, a hormone will be released so the Mother will have more patience despite being in complete lack of good sleep. Mother nature has figured this all out a long long time ago, but with our modern lifestyles so many things are contrasting the important routines that should be there in the very beginning of a child’s life. This little baby needs its Mother’s strokes, touches, sound of her heartbeat and her voice. 

The feeling of the Mother’s love and devotion is truly important, as it will help that baby grow into a strong independent person. An infant’s brain develops faster if that baby is given love, strokes, eye contact and is spoken to through the beautiful presence of its MOTHER. 

Without the words “Mother” and “Motherhood” there would not be much. Mother also stands for comfort and safety. We all need to feel comfortable and safe and we never stop needing that. All living creatures of the Earth have a Mother.

Spell is like magic. I believe in spells and magic from the bottom of my heart. Life seems better that way. You will become what you truly desire. Sure, you have to work hard for it, but then it will happen to you, and to me this is like a spell. Mother nature, Mother Earth has spells and magic in its beautiful circle. Without the spells she puts on us which are things like love, helping us grow and providing food for us, the humanity would not survive.

This is just something that I live by and truly believe in. I felt like I wanted to share this with you. This is how I found the name Mother’s Spell. This is what I would like to share. How we can simplify days and our lives. With these feelings and attention to our surroundings and weather conditions, we can truly enjoy better days, simply through the power of our own mind. Feel free to write what your thoughts are. I would love to hear them.

love always JM

@Photo, www.mamafedona.com

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RITA MERLINI

Tell us about your brand: when did you start to think about this project?

I was born and grown in Tuscany and I always admired artisans and their manual skills. After university and a period living in the USA, I enrolled at a school of  accessory model making in Florence. I then graduated from the leather school in the same city. I immediately got the chance to work closely with the florentine craftsmen masters in the manual leather process: so, I decided to take this project forward.

As a child, had you ever thought about taking this path? I have always been curious and enthusiatic about learning new things. My grandfather was a tailor and I started to appreciate fashion and design while spending time in his tailor shop between counters and textiles. I worked in tourism and travelled extensively for a period of time, but ultimately I chose to follow this path.

Have you involved your friends and relatives in the project? Who is your team composed of? Some friends and contributors help me commercially and logistically, while some artisans who live and work in the beatiful Tuscany deal with manufacture and creation of the bags.

Do you remember what you thought when you created your first model? It was a great pleasure! Seeing an idea come to life is the most beautiful thing that can happen to you. The name of my first bag was Eva -as the first woman- and, since then, I have given all my creations names of women: in this way I feel I am giving value to an idea to which I have worked with passion.

The Rita Merlini’s bags collection is entirely handmade-produced with natural hides: how important is being environmentally-friendly to you?

Care for the environment is a real priority for me. I choose exclusively vegetable-tanned leather: I favor natural tannins origintaing from the Consorzio Vera Pelle al Vegetale. Every bag is also finally polished using uniquely beeswax and wollen cloth.

 Which steps are required in order to consider a leather “natural”?

The vegetable-tanned leather comes from bovines addressed to food industry, it does not contain toxic substances (as azocolourants or nickel and chromium) dangerous both for men and the environment. We only use natural tannins extracts obtained from tree bark, such as chestnut and mimosa.

What does the certification issued by the Consorzio consist of?

The warranty card of every single bag is issued by the Consorzio, it is numbered and it attests the quality, the naturalness and the origin of the laether bought by the associated tanneries.

Tuscany has always been the touchstone for leather processing. Was it easy for you to find tanneries and artisans to work with?

No, it was not easy. It is the result of a great and constant work in continuous search of the last artisans, custodians of the ancient traditional techniques passed on from generation to generation in the Tuscan area.

What is the approximate time needed to create a Rita Merlini bag, from the initial project to its creation?

The planning of a single bag takes place during the preparation of every collection,  already having in mind the shade, shape and manufacturing . The subsequent preparation of every single piece includes the manual cut of the stripes, the manual bind, the packaging and the polishing with beeswax and woollen cloth.

Nature is a clear source of inspiration for your collection. Which is your favourite place to work on the new models? Do you seek refuge in nature or do you work in an office?

I usually work in an office, where there is my old counter, the leathers we will use, my models and all the instruments I need. But I often work from home.  I’m inspired by nature: I always carry a notebook with me because inspiration may come during a walk in the woods or in the country or at the beach…even in winter. I’m glad to be living between two wonderful lands, the regions of Tuscany and Liguria, so I’m full of inspiration…

How do you manage to balance your career with the need to take care of the family? Do you have children?

Yes, I have two children. Becoming a mother switched me into a higher gear. I am very grateful to my children for my personal growth.  Balancing a career and family is not easy but I am happy thinking that this will transmit the importance of running a project, an idea wih enthusiasm, determination and care to my children.

The colours of your bags are timeless, but at the same time they are never boring. How important is the choice of shades for you?

I like the earth tones and I choose colours like ash gray, mud, walnut, sand-colored, brown and…I am in love with red, especially in the summer. While designing a new collection the choice of the colours is important, but even more are the shapes, the proportions and the manufacturing.

On your website www.ritamerlini.it  we see that every bag of your collection is made by hand: do you want to tell us the reason of this choice?

Yes, every piece is handmade. We cut the stripes of different length depending on the model, then we carry out an irregular procedure, particular and unique in its genre, interweaving the stripes. This is a specific technique of the Tuscan artisans, from the pleating to embroidery.

This choice is the nucleus of the project: to create a product which values the Italian craftsmanship excellence and which is different from the numerous poorer-quality and mass-produced items.

Are you planning to sell your bags online in the future or do you prefer that your customers touch with hand your products, considering the high quality of them?

Some of the shops with which we work sell our bags online on their websites. On our website we choose to just present our products and styles: we prefer direct contact. Sometimes people mail us and we point them to the nearest shop or we directly send them the product. Sometimes people come to visit us in our showroom in Chiavari.

Can you give us a preview for next season?

I am still working on it…we present our a/w 2018 collection in New York and Paris from the end of February, we will show you new interweaves and other interesting manufacturing….

Tnx

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RAKEL HALLDORSDOTTIR

A beautiful mother of five children who looks like an Icelandic fairy. She speaks softly and gently and I can’t imagine her ever using a bad word. After listening to her whole story I came to the understanding that she has real Viking bones. She fell in love at 18, lived abroad, both in Italy and Boston, studied at Harvard University all while starting a family. As if that was not enough she also opened an organic shop in Reykjavik with products from Italy and Icelandic farms. Drinking tea with her and listening to all her stories and adventures made me want five children too. Our conversation went on for almost two hours and here are the pieces I want to share with you.

What made you move to Italy from Iceland?

My ex-husband and I moved there because he was writing and studying music. We moved to a little town called Campeggio close to Monghidoro between Bologna and Florence. I stayed home with my firstborn daughter but was always painting on the side. I had been a painter in Iceland where I was studying political science and history at the University of Iceland. We lived there for a beautiful year in this lovely little town surrounded by nature and amazing food.

Then you moved to Boston, what were you doing?

I attended evening and summer classes at Harvard so I could stay home with my daughter during the day.I have a graduate degree in Museum Studies and a Master of Liberal Arts with a concentration in the history of art and architecture. After residing and studying in Boston for three years we decided to move back to Italy where we both finished our papers. We moved to La Romola close to San Casciano in Val di Pesa and lived there for a year and a half. We absolutely adored the landscape and wine yards. By that time I was pregnant with my second child, a boy, who was born in Italy.

How was your experience delivering your son in Italy – a foreign hospital?

I had a great experience, they took very good care of me and followed up very well with my pregnancy. They also do more exams there than in Iceland. Every month we had all sorts of tests done. J

Did you have any complications during pregnancy?

Well, I always felt great during pregnancy, full of energy and very active but there is a whole story about my son, Halldor . My mother travelled to Italy so she could help us with him but he ended up being born two weeks and a half after his due date. Unfortunately, my mother’s return trip flight back to Iceland was the same morning that he actually was born, so we were alone in Italy at that point. It was just us and my older daughter who was in kindergarten class that morning. That day I felt contractions and we had to ask the doctor to give me a drip to induce labor so my son would be born in time for my husband to pick our daughter up from school.

When he was born his nervous system and eye focus were not very responsive. His whole development progress was a bit slower in comparison to my other children. He easily caught infections and colds. At age three he started having very bad headaches and I had become increasingly more worried about him. At that time I was 6 months pregnant with our third child.

One evening, for the first time, he experienced something called an absence seizure. It was super scary as I had no idea this condition existed. It was like he just froze, did not blink or make a sound and his lips turned blue. He had some liquid running down his nose until all of a sudden he started crying and then throwing up from the excruciating pain in his head. I have never been so terrified in my entire life. Then we started taking him to doctors that conducted many tests. To our relief the doctor explained that this could be an isolated incident but then it happened again a month later. He started medication but his condition developed into epilepsy even though he was taking a heavy amount of medication at that point.

I just wasn’t seeing the recovery in him that I was looking and hoping for so I started researching and looking for answers. Poor boy was so low on energy feeling bad and in pain all the time that he was having a hard time staying focused in school and making friends. He just seemed to not have any interest and energy. During my pregnancy with him, I was tested as being low in iron. When I think back today, I can see a connection between his health and my iron deficiency. I noticed that every time I gave him dinner or food containing iron, he ate a lot and fast. He seemed to be craving it more than my other children.

So while reading and trying to educate myself on the topic the thing that kept popping up, time after time, was how iron intake produces energy in our body. One night I had an AHA moment and it just all made sense. I started giving him a small amount of iron each day and soon noticed some improvements. I asked his doctor if we could maybe lower his medication to find out if there was a link between the two, but he said his blood was fine and we should leave it be.

I went in search of a second opinion. I found a female doctor, a mother of eight, and she also said there wasn’t a link as his blood tests seemed fine but she did agree on my suggestion since we had seen some improvements. We tried this for a few months and as time passed we slowly lowered the medication down to none. He was rid of the seizures! Now years later he is still seizure free and doing much better. Mothers are the ones who watch their children while they sleep and we know every breath they take. We have a natural maternal instinct and that is nature’s gift. In some cases we just are right 🙂

How did you take care of your self during pregnancy what did you to for your self? Any tips for our pregnant readers?

I tried my best to keep my days calm and peaceful. I love to take hot baths but then I learned that hot baths could be harmful so I always kept the water at body temperature. I absolutely love massages so a foot massage to me feels heavenly during pregnancy. I also always made sure to eat well, fresh and clean. For me, food and eating well has always been important. I tried to stay fit and lifted some light weights for my arms and legs and I still do this today. I also tried not to over think this whole process, not to plan my delivery too much and so on. I like to just go with the flow and let life take it’s turns. All my deliveries went well, thank God. My son only had complications in his early years but other than that we have been very blessed. I really believe in eating well during this time – both before and after pregnancy but also during breastfeeding.

You opened a store in Iceland, organic farmers market. How did that come about?

When we lived abroad we got used to buying our foods straight from the farm or store who brought the food straight from the farm. Like with fresh eggs, fruits, vegetables, meat, and fish. It is very different to do grocery shopping in Italy than in Iceland. Vegetables and fruit are so fresh and tasty there. Our number one medicine is food. Eating clean and well. Preparing home cooked meals for my family is what I always prefer.

Moving back home to Iceland we felt like we would love to open an Icelandic version with products straight from farms. We drove around Iceland and found farms that were interested in collaborating with us. This was soon after the economic collapse so we found an affordable space for our store and got baskets for vegetables and fruit. Fortunately, people liked the store very much and also enjoyed supporting Icelandic farms and eating locally. By the time we added some high-quality products from Italy such as olive oil, chocolate and so on it was a perfect mix.

A few years passed and unfortunately my ex husband developed a serious illness. We lost our store and as time went on the two of us decided that divorcing was the best option for our children. At that point it was healthier for both them and us.

The store is still running with new owners. Fru Lauga, I was working for them for a while but then felt I needed to move on and build a new phase in my life.

What is your favorite thing about being a mother?

Oh, I just love it!! I love all moments especially the sound of their little voices and the things they say. I always try to keep in mind that every moment is very temporary, sometimes I am tired and things are difficult but then I whisper to myself that each stage is temporary. Plus time flies so fast . My oldest is now 21 and although I gave her a lot I still wish I did more. I think every mother thinks like this so my advice is to enjoy as much as possible.

The least favorite thing?

Oh, it has always been difficult for me to say negative things. But of course, it can be hard and chaotic to be a mother. Sometimes I feel I just need some peace. Often when I go to the bathroom somehow I am never alone! Now I just close and lock the door and when they come knocking I just reply that it is occupied J In the evenings when they ask for water and this and that over and over again I sometimes just say, ” no, I have closed the kitchen for the evening. Self-service only now.” J

Rakel told me she is looking forward to the future and looking into a new adventure moving for a year or so to the countryside in Iceland. Spend time with nature and close to her children and new working opportunity. I look forward to hearing about it over our next tea date in Iceland. I would like to wish her and her children all the best and for all their dreams to come true. If you would like to follow her new adventure in Icelandic nature she will keep an Instagram page of her new journey @miomondo.skagafjordur.

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MARGRÉT YR

How many children do you have?

“I have two lovely little girls, Salka and Katla.

How where your pregnancies? How did you feel?

“I became pregnant with Salka pretty young. I feel like I was only a teenager, when I think back. I didn’t know what I wanted to become or what I wanted to study, so all of the sudden being responsible for another human being was quite a leap. I had to grow up really fast, without really being prepared for it. The first three months of the pregnancy were terrible. I couldn’t keep anything down and lost a lot ofweight. The only things I managed to eat were bacon-flavored Ritz crackers, salted liquorice and alphabet soups. I slept 24/7 aside from the moments when I had my head jammed down the toilet. So can’t say I was productive at that time. When I finally managed to shake this off, I started feeling wonderful. I loved having a pregnant tummy. At the last trimester Salkadecided to get her foot stuck in my ribs and kicked me there, nonstop for two months. At that point in time, I already felt I was a mom and just sucked it up. I was excited to become a mom but terrified at the same time. I was afraid of not managing to take on this role, but as soon as she was placed in my arms, I felt like I had this.” “Becoming pregnant with Katla was a little bit more complex. Only two days after having Salka I had an epileptic seizure for the first time in my life – and was later diagnosed with epilepsy. So when we decided that we wanted to have another child, it was quite a bit of process that needed to be initiated. I wasn’t a 100% ready for baby no. 2, I was 200% ready. That pregnancy was considerably easier for me. Maybe just because I had grown quite a bit as a person and I knew that I wasn’t entitled to whine or moan about non-trivial things, since I already had a baby that I needed to take care off – and another one in the cooker! So I toughed it out.” “When I was pregnant with Katla I was quite scared. I was taking medications for my epilepsy which had a chance of harming the fetus. A statistically insignificant chance, but still a chance. It troubled me. And it troubled my husband. But we were both so scared of it that we never dared speaking out about it until after Katla was born.” “I remember thinking during my first pregnancy that I hoped she’d be beautiful (something I’d never think today!), but during my second pregnancy, all I could think about was how much I hoped she’d be healthy. I was also very concerned about not being able to love another child as much as I loved my first-born. Was there really room for more love? But as soon as I held her in my arms for the first time, I felt how my heart doubled in size! You could say that during my second pregnancy I learned that there was enough love to go around for everyone and that you shouldn’t take it for granted that your children are healthy.”

What did you do during pregnancy to take care of yourself?

“I ate basically what I wanted. During my first pregnancy I had cravings for hot dogs with a lot of mustard, but during the second I ate crunched ice cubes like I was getting paid for it. Bucket loads each day. So I can’t say that my health took first place when it came to my diet, but I got nourishment from other places as well. I went swimming a lot, did pregnancy yoga, had massages and made sure I had clothes that felt good wearing.”

Did you breastfeed and for how long?

“My boobs grew a lot during the pregnancies but I can’t say they produced as much as they looked like they’d do! I breastfed Salka for seven months and I didn’t realize until later that I probably didn’t produce enough milk for her. She didn’t sleep much and I think a lot of the time it was simply because the poor child was hungry. So when it came to Katla, I decided that she’d get formula alongside breast milk. I breastfed her for five months and gave her formula with it. She slept much better than her big sister – as you do when you’re fully fed!”

Was your husband very involved pre and after birth? If so how?

“In general I think men find it hard to connect emotionally to unborn children, especially when it’s their first child. To them, this may feel a bit distant and they can’t feel the child moving in the same way mothers do.” “After we had a 3D sonar when I can was carrying Salka, I think it became a bit more real to my husband. Then he became more excited about this whole thing. When it came to our second daughter, I experienced him completely different – he knew what was coming.” “Our first daughter was a huge mommy’s girl and my husband had to work quite a lot soon after she was born. I also spent a lot of time with her – much more so than my husband. When I think back, I didn’t think they connected in a strong way until I was back in the maternity ward with my second child. From that time on, I feel as if they spent more time together and began connecting more on an emotional level. They are extremely good friends.” “When Katla came around, however, my husband had a different job and was able to spend more time at home. It became his job to give her formula after I had breastfed her. In return, Katla became a huge daddy’s girl and couldn’t even fall asleep unless lying on her daddy’s belly. Their connection was strong almost from the word “go” and I think this connection they have is similar to a connection a mother has to a child that she has breastfed. In a funny way, Katla is also much more like her father, both in temperament and looks. Salka, on the other hand, is a bit of a mini me!”

How is to be a mother in Iceland?

I think it’s wonderful to be a mother in Iceland. I wouldn’t change it for the world.

What do you believe is the good and the bed part?

“I think there is a lot of pressure from our society to have the ability to do everything. That everything has to be spot on but in reality it is easier said than done. We live in a society where everything has to be so perfect. It’s hard to keep up and I think mothers that try to will eventually give under the pressure. I think it’s important to face the fact that as parents we will make mistakes and we can’t have things perfect. Mistakes are made for us to learn from them. We just have to do our best and try to do it well. I think children need two things – love and structure. I think with those two things they blossom.”

You are a working mother a school teacher, you must really love children. Which age do you teach?

“Children are my favorite kind of human beings. They are so honest. They just tell you everything that comes into their mind. That’s why I love children and that’s why I love teaching children. Every day with them is so fun. I’m proud to be a teacher. I’m proud to shape the lives of children in this country and give them a proper education. I teach 2nd graders and I am a project manager as well at my school. I know I didn’t pick the easiest job but boy it’s a very rewarding job. Often they forget themselves and call me mommy. When they realize the put their hand over their mouth and giggle. It really melts my heart because then I know how important I’m to them. I play a big part in their lives so I want them to experience the school as safe place where they learn a lot in a fun and versatile way.

I heard you also wrote a children’s book, how did that come about?

“I’ve always carried a children’s book in my stomach. The book started with a drawing of a little bird called Mia. Then I crafted and drew her world and friends. When that all was over I wrote the book. The moral of the book is to open children’s eyes to their own qualities and talents. I feel that children can easily spot qualities of others but often forget their own.”

Would you like more children?

“I am extremely happy with my two healthy children. I feel that there is a pressure from the society to have more. That two isn’t enough. I would probably be asked less if I had a boy and a girl instead of two girls. I am often asked ‘So, when is the boy coming?’”

Is there anything you do that is just for you in your daily routine?

“Singing in the car in the morning while driving to work! Just blasting Adele and Whitney. Thankfully, no one can hear me because I am a crappy singer! On weekly basis I put masks from the Blue Lagoon that makes my skin so smooth and nice. I go swimming or use the hot tub in my backyard a lot. Hot water really relaxes me. I then write, read, draw and craft. All those things give me happy vibes.”

What is your favorite part about being a mother?

“Love. No question about it. This endless love you have for these amazing individuals you bring into this world. I sometimes think my heart is just bursting of love to them. I know, bit cheesy, but the honest truth. I just love watching my kids grow up and see what kind a characters they are growing into. I also love the closeness between a mother and her children. How much they depend on you and trust. It is just one of those beautiful things of life.”

What is the least favorite part?

“Diapers with number two! Me and my husband used the game “stone, paper and scissors” all the time to decide who was the “lucky” one. When looking back I feel like I lost a lot in that game!”

Do you have any specific preference when it comes to food for you and your family?

“We eat healthy and versatile food on weekdays. All the family eats together and everybody need to taste their food. My husband is a great cook and he cooks a lot from Jamie Oliver. We have also used “Let’s cook right” which is a company that sends us all the ingredients and a recipe as well. Top quality food and healthy as well. During weekends we are a lot more relaxed but don´t overdo it. We believe that everything is good in moderation.”

Is there something you and your husband do to keep fire on the relationship? 🙂

“The first thing that pops into my head is friendly teasing. We do that a lot. For example just two weeks ago I was talking to my girlfriend outside our home in her car. My husband sneaked behind the car with this horrible clown mask and starts punching the window on the car. We screamed like crazy and almost peed our pants! Then he has thrown fake spiders at me for fun because I am so scared of them. I freak out every time. Then just last week I came home and the whole house had been decorated with Christmas lights! And yes it was still September when it was up! I hope we never grow up.”

Love JM