Love seems to be a mysterious thing. Sometimes we fall deep and the person we fell hard in love with can one day become a terrible asshole and very different then the person we thought he or she was.
I have had that happen to myself and I know many stories like this. For sure this feeling is not true love. Probably more like lust or the feeling thata spell has been cast upon you. Most times this ends very badly. One or both parties are in a lot of emotional pain and think they will never love again. Thankfully, most times we do fall in love again. Hopefully this time with a better person. A person who is capable of truly loving us and has our best interests at heart.
I am fortunate to have many close and good girlfriends. The majority of them are mothers and have relationships, so we often speak about them. How good or bad they are and what we want to obtain from them. I have heard many stories and love listening. It helps me to see life in a wider range, to visualize my own personal goals and set my own dreams. I feel that it’s smart to take in the good and bad. I find a way to relate other’s experiences to my own. I learn and grow with my closest friends. Also, with stories I hear or read and feel connected to.
I do want to admit I was a bit scared and nervous to write about this topic, as it is very personal with many different viewpoints on the subject. Also, with my posts I like to wonder and think aloud, if I may. With you, my dear readers, I learn so much and I am quite curious about LOVE.
It is a beautiful moment when we are in the first stages of love. Everything is new, magical and extremely exciting. If you are experiencing this moment right now I have to say ENJOY! Inhale it into the bottom of your heart and keep it there to remember for later on 🙂 . Life takes us on rides that are extremely unpredictable and it has always been my instinct to just enjoy every single moment of it. Enjoy the surprises!
Live life with as little pressure as possible and never ever forget to take wonder in the small things. Now as a mother (I am sure all mothers can agree here) it becomes harder to stay so happily in love when you can never finish or have a conversation unless you leave your own home. I have been thinking a lot lately how to keep love alive and growing. It seems to me that so many people in 2017 divorce, especially after they have a child. I am a child of divorce and although I have lovely parents I still really wish with all my heart that my children will not ever have to experience it. I believe it is beautiful to be part of a family unit.
With all the crazy social media out there we are starting to see life in a delusional way. We start to wonder and think that we also deserve this.
I mean why settle down with our snoring man that has a little beer belly when MAYBE we can have a “better” more perfect man. Our minds start to wander way too far from reality. I would sometimes find myself in this position when I was on maternity leave. As mothers we stay home with our amazing baby, that we absolutely love more than life, but at times we can get bored and start to fantasize about someone else’s life that we see on Instagram or Facebook.
I think this thought has passed every persons mind because of all this social media hype and it can make us forget about reality. I consider the beautiful art of balance as the power of EVERYTHING. Without good balance we are always swaying from one side to another until we eventually crash and fall head first.
When we are born we learn how to breath, smile, drink, eat and coordinate movements.. so on. It is extremely important to every mother and father to know that the way we love our children is the way they will love as adults. Love is something that we learn; it grows. My point is that if in your relationship you have problems with love or how to understand each other then try and learn a bit about the parents of your better half. Give thought to how he or she was loved and raised. It might give you ease to know it is not always so personal when the other person in the relationship is doing something, that in your opinion, is hurtful or unfair. Oftentimes they just don’t know any better.
Figuring out each other’s backgrounds can be a huge help. With calmer conversations and the desire to try and understand each other you can find a balance in your love. When you are so mad at your partner that your head is about to pop off your neck and your feel like running the other way, just STOP and take a HUGE deep breath – try to remember your first days together. Why you love each other and what he or she did in the beginning that made you fall so madly and deeply in love. This can save you from an argument that has no meaning because often we are just stressed out, tired and we need only to take it out on someone else. Unfortunately, the person you love the most has to pay that price.
I once had dinner here in Milano with a lovely couple that had been together for 38 years. I saw them laughing together and holding hands as if they’d just met! I had to ask if they had a special secret or any advice for me? The man answered; ” Well , just don’t fight. Don’t try to win your argument or prove your point. Most of the time it is over silly stuff and if you do try to win..well then the person you are supposed to love the most loses! I mean why on earth would I want the person I love the most to lose”?
I mean how beautifully simple is that? This has been stuck in my mind ever since and it makes total sense. Grow together, keep love alive, always remember the beginning of yourrelationship. Look at photos together. Find each other again and also time to just be you. Let silly rules go, you can now create new ones together. I see this has become quite long now. Until the next time the love topic comes up I truly hope you find your balance.
Photos by @sagasig