I have been dreaming of life in a small town surrounded by nature and simplicity for years now. I do truly believe in a simple life, and because I have been living in big cities now for so long it sometimes makes me feel I lose a lot of time in my day. I don’t always know where my time goes even if I don’t stop moving around and about all day long.
I moved from New York to Italy with dreams of working on a farm for awhile. I wanted to learn how to grow vegetables and maybe even make wine. Get my hands into nature, feel a good connection and work hard outdoors all day long. I had been teaching Pilates in New York for about 8 years and I was starting to feel lost and without a good connection, so I chose to make a change. Between then and now many things that I hadn’t planed happened which is the lovely way life works. I found myself living in Milan, another big city, which was supposed to be a temporary solution. Now, especially after I became a mother, my desire to move into a life of simplicity became more important to me more now than ever. I am looking for my new quiet spot for myself along with my family so we can live simply. As the time I had worked on a farm in Africa. I woke up before going to work with stillness and calmness every single morning. Listening to the sounds of nature, animals and just the soft hum of wind through the trees. That can change a mood every single day.
Many roads have been guiding me towards Ibiza and it is funny because I always assumed that Ibiza was not a place I would want to live. I really thought it was a far cry from being a family or child-friendly atmosphere. Instead, I have found people with their hearts full of love and eyes without judgement. Free, happy, strong and independent children. Mothers talking in groups with understanding and supporting each other and being so loving towards each other’s children. I feel so relived, I feel my heart fall into peace. Free to raise my children in the way I want without the fear of being judged but instead feeling supported and loved from people I hardly know. Children here are allowed to run around and just be kids.. A connection with nature the way I had as a child growing up in Iceland. A warmer and much sunnier climate with fruits and vegetables that are locally grown and with flavors that definitely don’t exist in Iceland.
In these days I came to realize so many things, things when living in a city you don’t have time to see. These are simple things. We all know this but sometimes we need to go explore and feel it to understand that these are not just “sayings”, it really is real. How happy everyone is just by being able to breath in good air all day long. Spending more time outdoors rather than indoors. Less sound of traffic and noise in general that cities have. I understand this way of life may not be for everyone. Thankfully, we are all different with different needs but I feel and see people who live simply with less needs and less fuss. Their eyes shine and skin even appears happier. They are less wrinkled, worried and stressed. Their children cry less and I notice less chaos within families. Of course, every family has chaos and lots of it, so this is just the meaning of having less. This mentality can surely be adopted everywhere also in cities – it just might be harder to remember them.
Speaking with experienced mothers who have 6 to 9 children, they all agree that patience is natural. Children also have different characters and different needs as us adults. Being a mother now is becoming unnatural for many modern mothers because there seems to be a lot of expectations. So many methods that teach you how to raise children into this or that. I feel we have so many this and that kind of people in 2017, how about letting children help us and letting them guide the way and show us how they would like to grow. We need to be HERE for them and give them our guidance and show them things that interest them.
If we simplify our days and make space for us to listen to our hearts we can then find the time and space for the whole family. It will soon come naturally and by talking to your village. Talk with other mothers, but mothers who you see are similar to you. With their hearts and minds in the right place. Even if we can all find beautiful inspiration through social media it is also full of false images and messages. There is nothing as good as real honest talk with a friend.
It can help us a lot to find our real mother, the mother that lives in our hearts. Let our shoulders fall down from our ears and our chest expand wide open and make room for a good deep breath. Find your center line and move from there. Think before we speak when our children are having a hard time communicating orcontrolling their emotions. There are many challenges for mothers and parents to find stillness on days when everything seems to be out of control. Before we begin to judge ourselves we need to find ourselves. Connect to our own feelings, find a still heart so we can be guided gently out of stressful moments.
I am a mother who makes many mistakes. I am not an expert, I am a student. I am looking for guidance and stillness in my heart. I find that when I am not being judges by myself or others, when I simplify and remember to make time and space then it all just comes naturally.