WE ARE ALSO RAISING FATHERS

I have been posting Instagram videos and photos of my sons playing at home doing many different games over the past three years. I find myself both sharing my motherhood and watching other mothers’ daily life with children through their videos or words, and I somehow find it comforting, it makes me feel less alone in my motherhood journey.

I love getting ideas for activities to do with my sons from other mothers, just as when I find something that my family loves to do together I like sharing it,  so that someone might also take it as inspiration and enjoy it. We are all in the same boat here and I find that the phrase sharing is caring fits really well in the motherhood community.

One of my sons’ favorite things to do is to take a walk with their strollers and care for their dolls . Before leaving the house they put on their clothes and cover them up with a blanket so they wont get cold. Then they tell me stories about how they care for their little babies and how I did the same with them when they where small (as if they remember their infancy) 🙂 Seeing them taking care of their stuffed animals and dolls with so much love just melts my heart, and I feel it is such a lovely game for any child, boy or girl. It is just a game about love.

I have gotten so many responses to the videos I have posted of my sons playing fathers, and I have to say they were both positive and negative. I felt it would be a good idea to share the reason why, to me, it is completely fine for boys to play with dolls and strollers just as it is fine for girls.

First of all, they are not at all only toys for girls. Yes ,it is true that girls will become mothers one day and they will take care of a baby and walk around with a stroller, but guess what: boys will also become FATHERS, and it is completely, 100% ok that boys walk around with a stroller and take care of little doll babies just like their fathers are doing with them and their siblings. Our children are only imitating what they see us do. 

In my personal opinion I find it really beautiful that my sons play a game that consists in taking care of someone else. As I take them for a walk in the park they put a blanket on their dolls so that they will not be cold, and all I can think of is how beautiful it is that they have the instinct to be kind, even to a doll. During our walk in the park I notice that many people look at them and their strollers and smile. I can see they are moved by seeing two boys walking around the park acting like two fathers.

On the other hand, so very sadly, I also see many people looking at me as if I have committed a crime by letting my sons play this game. This is completely beyond my understanding. Many mothers have written to me saying that their husbands would never, ever, allow them to let their sons play with a stroller. It is very hard for me to understand this. Children are children, and I am so happy when I see them exploring new games or developing an interest in something. Thinking that there are boy games and girl games is such an old preconception. I grew up with 4 younger brothers, so I very often played with ninja turtles, cars or played soccer and I also have to say that it generally seems like it is more accepted for girls to be playing boy games rather than boys playing girl games. It feels like some men are scared about it, in some way. My sons also have a little kitchen in their room and they love preparing ‘’soups or pasta’’ for me that I pretend to eat from their little wood pots and pans, or other times they will offer me a cup of tea 🙂 They are so very proud to be making food for me.

It is 2018 and it is so completely ok for children to have the desire to explore and create games copying their parents. Being a good example to our children is everything. It is the future. Let boys carry stuffed animals and dolls in a stroller and play with them, so what! I gave Sebastian his stroller about the time when Gabriel was born so he could walk his own baby with me, and I felt that it really helped him deal with jealousy. When Gabriel grew they started fighting over the stroller so their grandmother bought Gabriel his own, and they are so happy and proud when they take their babies out for a walk. To me, parenthood is all about that: seeing our little angels happily smiling, satisfied and proud of who they are.

We guide them along the way and are there for everything they may need. We stimulate them in the way they are. See their incredible personality and help bring out the best in them.

Most of all, we are there to LOVE them for who they are.

love JM  

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2018-03-14T00:28:22+00:0014/03/18|

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